200 Funny Stupid Jokes to Make Your Day
51. Q. Why were the giant’s fingers only eleven inches long?
A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they’d be afoot.
52. Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny Farts!
53. Q. What runs but can’t walk?
A. The faucet!
54. Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
A. Because she wanted to test the waters!
55. Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because it held up a pair of pants!
56. Q. What is the centre of gravity?
A. The letter V!
57. Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!
58. Q. Which month do soldiers hate most?
A. The month of March!
59. Q. What did the painter say to the wall?
A. One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
60. Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
61. Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
62. Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
63. Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
64. Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!
65. Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A. A little horse
66. Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese
67. Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
68. Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
69. Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
70. Q. What has four legs but can’t walk?
A. A table!
71. Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. To get to the Shell station!
72. Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A. You crack me up!
73. Q. Why did the sheep say “moo”?
A. It was learning a new language!
74. Q. What streets do ghosts haunt?
A. Dead ends!
75. Q. What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?
A. The Spacebar!
76. Q. What bow can’t be tied?
A. A rainbow!
77. Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A. Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
78. Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house?
A. Fur-niture!
79. Q. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
A. He was a chicken.
80. Q. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
81. Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A. To get a tweetment.
82. Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. I better not tell you, it might spread.
83. Q. How do baseball players stay cool?
A. Sit next to their fans.
84. Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
85. Q. Where does wood come from?
A. A guy named Woody.
86. Q. What has one horn and gives milk
A. A milk truck.
87. Q. Where do bulls get their messages
A. On a bull-etin board.
88. Q. What is a tornado?
A. Mother nature doing the twist!
89. Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
90. Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
91. Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
A. My pop is bigger than yours.
92. Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A. You are too little to smoke.
93. Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A. A doctopus!
94Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
95. Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn’t concentrate!
96. Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
97. Q. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A. To get a root canal.
98. Q. Why did the child study in the aeroplane?
A. He wanted a higher education!
99. Q. Why was the broom late?
A. It over swept!
100. Q. Where do cows go on holiday?
A. Moo York
